The 1987 Crystal Light National Aerobic Championship

The 1987 Dance Aerobics Championship - Watch more Funny Videos

Great Way to stay in shape.....if you have a spare audience.
Things I got from watching this video
-Aerobics definitely peaked in the 80's
-They had aerobic "clubs"?
-Is that the guy from Growing Pains?

Putting Flies to Good use

A company in Germany decided what way to better advertise then to advertise on flies. They attached lightweight paper advertising and let the flies loose.


This has got to be one of the best ideas ever. Flies in themselves are nothing and annoying but add advertising to them and they because the greatest billboard ever.

This is why I love the 70's

Its long been a dream of mine to be on Soul Train. There is nothing like a good dance line to set a party over the top. So many good dancers and overall just a bunch of cool people. Just once in my life I want to go to a party that has one.

The People In College

The Girl Who Somehow Talks About Her boyfriend When She Answers a Question in Class.
I have one in every class that I have taken. Some how, some way she incorporates her boyfriend in her answer. It's ether her and her boyfriend do this, or her boyfriend does that. I really can't stand it, there is no reason we need to know you have a boyfriend. I mean congrats you found someone to procreate with. It has never ceased to amaze me that she could somehow bring in her boyfriend in any conversation. If she had a super power it would be the ability to bring her boyfriend up in any conversation even if it was about the current political climate in Morocco.

*That picture isn't the best representation, after about 15 minutes i gave up and settled on that picture.

News to Whom?

For those of you who are not acquainted, LeBron James is a professional basketball player, and Braylon Edwards is a professional football player, both of whom play on teams in Cleveland.

And if you visit sports news sites with any regularity, you are more than likely familiar with the latest story to headline the sports world: James and Edwards are currently engaged in an off court altercation. This story was displayed prominently on all main sports media outlet sites today, including ESPN.com, Foxsports.com, and SportsIllustrated.com.

The problem I have, however, is this: this shouldn't be headline sports news. I understand that "sports are a business" now and thus players' off the court infractions have everything to do with professional sports, but I want to point out that we have reached a point of absurdity.

One of these players is really good at basketball, and one is relatively decent at football, and I want to hear news about them when they are actually playing, that's all. Addressing these side stories with such emphasis only furthers the celebrity/entertainment world that has made professional sports so controversial.

And, as an exercise, in order to prove how inconsequential this headline "news" is, I have decided to place the ESPN.com article in this blog with one alteration: I will be replacing every specific reference to Lebron James and Braylon Edwards with references of Patrick, myself, and a friend of ours. Reading it from this perspective will hopefully bring to light my sentiments as well as some humor. Enjoy.

Note: Due to length concerns, I have omitted portions of the article that would have seemed either nonsensical or trivial in light of the switched references. The authenticity has not been compromised.

Bullock allegedly hit Jimmy's friend

BEREA, Ohio -- Patrick Bullock allegedly took a swing at someone much smaller but with a towering, more famous friend: Jimmy Hennessy.

And Jimmy isn't happy about it.

Hennessy called Bullock "childish" for allegedly punching his friend early Monday morning following an argument outside a Cleveland night club. Hennessy said Bullock punched his friend, Chris Daschel, a promoter who was working outside the club around 2:30 a.m. EDT.

"I've never crossed paths with Patrick before, but it seems like there's a little jealousy going on with Patrick and me and my friends. I have no idea why," a protective and perturbed Hennessy said. "I've never said anything to Patrick at all. But for him to do that is very childish. My friend is 130 pounds. Seriously. It's like hitting one of my kids. It doesn't make sense."

Bullock was not available for comment Monday, but he did post a message on his Twitter account, offering praise to Hennessy

"I have no issue with Jimmy," Bullock tweeted. "I respect and admire him."
Hennessy said he was home when the alleged fight occurred, but got a call from Daschel telling him about it at 7 a.m. Monday.

"The situation is very sensitive right now, but it's unfortunate that it happened," Hennessy said. "Hopefully my friend is doing well."

According to a police incident report, Daschel accused an unidentified man of punching him in the face following an argument at approximately 2:30 a.m. Daschel, who is listed as 5-foot-7, 135 pounds on the report, said Bullock hit him with a closed fist. He told police he suffered a black eye and cut and was treated at a hospital.

Bullock's name did not appear on the report. He was not arrested and there are no charges pending against him.

Bullock went to View Ultralounge & Nightclub, a downtown hot spot located near Quicken Loans Arena. Daschel told the newspaper's Web site that he was outside greeting people when Bullock approached him.

"Patrick comes up and started saying things, degrading me," Daschel said. "He said if it wasn't for Jimmy, I wouldn't have what I have, nor would I be able to get girls. Everyone knows Patrick has a problem with Jimmy."

"I had to speak up for myself. The conversation started to escalate. As some of his teammates started to pull him back, he punched me. As long as I've known Patrick, I've allowed him and his friends to come into our events free of charge. Whatever jealousy he has with Jimmy, he felt he needed to take it out on me."

Doppleganger

Patrick, I can't remember if we've ever talked about this or not, but were you in ABBA?

Bike Dancing

Bike Dancing has been around a very long time. Not long after the bike was invented people started to dance with the bike and later competing against other people who danced with their bikes. Since the 1980s there has been a world competition where the best bike dancers from each country come to compete against each other to see who is the best. This years competition was held in Munich, Germany. The European countries have long dominated the sport especially Germany and France. What is surprising though is that I have found out that the U.S. has not fielded a team for 7 years. I thought to myself this is my chance to get into the Olympics and get a gold medal finally. Although not an Olympic sport, is should and will be soon. My partner in the blog Jimmy just got a new bike, and I can also borrow my sisters so I thought we should naturally team up in the pairs competition. We will begin training immediately and not stop until we atleast place in the top 30. Here is a video of what it is.

Things that everyone buys but nobody uses segment

The Coin Sorter
If there was a product to define this segment the coin sorter would have to be it. Very popular during the 90's almost everyone I knew bought one of these including our family. If was a novel idea to sort and know how much money you had laying around your house and car. Problem with these things is that you couldn't put more than one coin in a time, so if you had a lot of change you would have to wait for every coin to go through. They were also notoriously cheap and broke down after awhile. Another problem with it is that we only used ours maybe twice without getting the results that we were expecting to get. You had to buy these paper wrappers for the coins and had to close them in a special way. If you look in your closet I am sure you will be able to find a coin sorter in the back of it.

Off With the King

Okay, I'm not the first to say it, but I definitely believe I am one of the first of many to come: LeBron James is an idiot.

The King has been fortunate to be immune of the hatreds stored for many of the league's brightest stars (Kobe, Shaq etc). But this reign is slipping and will soon fall. And most surprisingly, it will start in his home state of Ohio.

Amongst some questionable moves to kick off this NBA offseason, (the failure to shake hands with the victorious Magic in the Eastern Conference Finals, the "Nikegate" confiscation of dunk tapes etc.) the latest and probably most offensive is his decision to not consider negotiations for a contract extension in Cleveland until next season.

At an event in his hometown to unveil Nike Air Max LeBron VII, the latest sneaker in his signature line, James made his strongest comments yet about his future. The NBA's reigning MVP said he signed a three-year contract in 2006 to give him more options once it expires.

This move will drown the Cavs. I know it probably seems like a great business move and he has every right to do so and whatever else you want to argue, but LeBron's decision to wait and see if the team is good enough for him is the quintessential selfish act that represents everything I loathe about professional sports.

After watching a superstar sign long term with the Portland Trailblazers this summer, eager to win a Championship from scratch, I am so thankful that I have Brandon Roy instead of LeBron James. There is no way LeBron stays in Portland through the 2010 offseason.

LeBron James came into the league as a nice, well spoken kid with a lot of hype to live up to. Since winning his first MVP this past season however, I believe that his motives are evolving.

LeBron needs attention so much that he wants to see just how much other teams will actually pay to have him play for them.

He wants to wait a year to watch as teams forgo this season and instead scheme plans to offer James a gigantic contract in a down economy.

And if I lived in Cleveland, I would be pissed. If the Cavalier front office spends this year sweating and planning on how to keep their franchise player and fail, they will hit rock bottom so quickly as a franchise that the owners will consider relocation.

To have LeBron James resign with the Cavs this summer so the entire organization can focus on winning a championship instead of his contract might be an unreasonable expectation, but not to me. LeBron has shown that he can basically do whatever he wants on and off the court, so why not accept the $17 million(!!!!!) option for next year and quit acting like you are "making the right business decision."

I am calling LeBron out, and soon you will too. Off with the king.

Kevin Everest............er some black guy

We all remember the story of Kevin Everest the Buffalo Bills Tight end who was paralyzed. This video combines two of my favorite things, local news and funny videos here it goes......

Sports Trading Cards

I recently read an article by Bill Simmons the Sports Guy, about his trip to a memorabilia convention. It reminded me of when i was young and used to collect sports trading cards like no other, that was back when i used to go to the store with my mom just to see if i could get her to buy me a pack in the check out lines. So i thought to my self i am going to make a purchase of one old (probably on ebay) and one new set of basketball cards and see what i get and shamelessly promote the most obscure players that i get from the two packs.

The Andre Miller signing

After a difficult off season the Trail Blazers finally singed Andre Miller to a 3 year worth 21 million dollars with a team option for the third year. Now at first i really didn't like the deal mostly because i have never been a fan of Andre Miller's game. Add on top of that Andre is already 33 and likely on a steady production line, like most point guards who hit their 30's.Then i started to think that his game couldn't be as bad and we still have Steve Blake. If you even stick him on the second unit and let him run with some of the "younger" and more athletic guys on the team it might actually make the second unit even better than it was last year. The less dependence we have on Brandon Roy i think the better, we can save some of his legs for the playoffs. Lastly and the most important he has a team option for year number 3.



*I just love the photo because it includes Micheal Doleac.

Local News, too much time on their hands

Normal news cast you see it all the time. They report on cougars, bears, and coyotes all the time. I don't know if this guy had too much time on his hands or tried to win a local emmy of something. Here is the video.




"This is how the bear probably looked, if it was real."
No need to recreate how a bears escaped we know it runs away

Tech Help

If you are wondering why the 29th Ammendment seems to be leaning to the right (physically speaking), I think we have some explaining to do.

I am having trouble with the pictures on the blog. Pat, I am unsure if you are as well, so feel free to interrupt me at any point.

If you'll notice there isn't much real estate to work with on blogger.com. And I love pictures. But the options are limited on the site, so I routinely just try to stow them on the right side because it seems like there are always formatting errors whenever I try something remotely fancy. This is frustrating for me.

And then they are always too big, even if I choose the small format. The first time I put a picture up (see Propaganda posters), I was able to click and drag size it. This is not the case anymore.

So today I tried to put a picture up of Clarence Weatherspoon. It was gigantic and diluted my words, so I tried again. The next time it didn't even show up, and I haven't been able to add a picture since.

This image scandal is number one on my priority list right now. If any closet readers exist out there, this is the time to reveal yourself and offer some advice.

Is this the most professional way I could have gone about this? Probably not, but if 29th has any inclination to get some publicity, I think its better we sort this out now.

My A.P.Y.R.F.S.R.E.T.T.W.G. Team

I think I'm liking this one. Mainly because everybody's is unique, and I don't expect anyone to understand mine. All-Players-You-Remember-For-Some-Reason-Even-Though-They-Weren't-Good Team.

I could go for days on this one, I'm laughing as I keep thinking of more.

G: Clarence Witherspoon
G: Pooh Richardson
F: Benoit Benjamin
F: Laphonso Ellis
C: Will Perdue

I've included a link here for a card one of Clarence's fleers (His personal quote on the card explains why he is on my list quite succinctly):

http://www.checkoutmycards.com/CardImages/Cards/001/738/04b.jpg

But nothing compares to this moster block by Laphonso Ellis, and the Denver fan's fist pump that follows....

My All Anal Team

For some reason i really spent a lot of time researching and trying to think of players that would fit the bill so here is my All Anal NBA Team


G: (Tie) Mike Bibby/ Jose Barea
G: Ricky Davis
F: Shane Battier
F: Udonis Haslem
C: Andrea Bargnani

For me the MVP of this group is Shane Battier. Although Ricky Davis is a close second. To me I feel like he is a very cautious person who keeps his stuff close to him. The touch part was I really couldn't decide between Mike Bibby and Jose Barea because they are just too similar.

Since James got to come up with these rankings of sort i thought i would come up with my own All-Players-You-Remember-For-Some-Reason-Even-Though-They-Weren't-Good Team



G: Mookie Blaylock
G: Erick Barkley
F: Marcus Liberty
F: Benoit Benjamin
C: Ruben Boumje-Boumje

I probably have 100's of Mookie Blaylock cards in my collection. I have no idea why the card companies loved Mookie Blaylock so much. It one of the reasons why he is one of my favorite NBA players of all time. Fun Fact Pearl Jam was going to be called "Mookie Blaylock" but couldn't so they settled for naming one of their albums "10". James if you have any updates on this list it would sure be appreciated cause there are definitely some throw ins in that group.

Unique NBA Honors

I always like to highlight features of the game and its players in ways that often go unnoticed or underappreciated. Patrick, I'm going to want some input on this.

All Anal Team: Top five NBA players who look like they keep a tight ship and aren't fond of other people touching their things.


G: Chris Quinn
G: Francisco Garcia
F: Peja Stojokavic
F: Tim Duncan
C: Nene

(Hon. Mention: Shane Battier, Antonio Daniels, Matt Harpring, Rudy Gay, Hilton Armstrong)

NBA Live '95 Team: You remember playing video games with these guys when you were a kid, yet you remember them being less than great. When you see them still on the court you think, how, of all of the guys from their generation, were these the ones who made it this long? It makes you wonder which mediocre players of today will have an inexorably long tenure (Channing Frye comes to mind).


G: Cuttino Mobley
G: Donyell Marshall
F: Juwan Howard
F: Kurt Thomas
C: Theo Ratliff

I want to see some feedback or amendments to these teams as well as some propositions for new honors.

Greg Oden Mr. Nice Guy

It's sad to think that Greg Oden will never live up to the hype. Even if he is a 5-time all-star who wins a championship. A lot of people looked down on him this year but i didn't think that he had a bad year. I don't think McMillan used him in the right way all the time. He fouled way too much but when he was in he was decent. Enough with that, i saw this picture on the internet and really want it on a shirt.

Kool-Aid, Heed the Advice

There are certain things that I think need to be posted on this blog with no explanation. This is one of those things.

Darkhorse Dependence

I have changed my fantasy baseball team name to Darkhorse Dependence. The name used to be Pathways Dependence before I swiftly fell to a league worst 2 and 9. My guys were miserable. I made some early trades that did not pan out as expected, and I had some major underachievers.



After about four weeks of solid play, however, I now humbly confess my love for this team. I can't help but be enthralled by the rally my guys are putting together as we near the All-star break.

My cast is flooded with a likable, dynamic, and youthful spirit that has pulled it together collectively as if they know they are assembled together on my roster. (Although they don't, it is only fantasy. I sigh as I remind myself this part). Plagued with injury, my comeback has been buttressed by both the over-achievement of bench players and solid pickups from free agency.

My Current Starting Roster (Minus Injured Carlos Quentin and Jose Reyes)

Catcher: Brian McCann
1st: Derrek Lee
2nd: Jose Lopez
3rd: Ryan Zimmerman
SS: Alexei Ramirez
OF: Adam Lind
OF: B.J. Upton
OF: Adam Jones
U: Michael Bourn
P: Yankees (Can't love 'em all)

Listen, while I Smell Sexy seems to have a pretty good hold on the league lead, look out for this squad. I firmly believe they will do some damage come the second half of the season. While most managers of a no buy-in league might divorce their squads after a 2-9 start, I am attentive as ever. With an exciting lineup like that, who wouldn't be?

So many questions after watching this video
1. Who are her clients?
2. Are there really enough demand of these things?
3. Has the economy effected her at all? or are these thing recession proof
4. Where can i get a pair?

The Show 24

Just got done watching season one of 24. Normally i wouldn't put a review like this on here but i thought that i needed too. I did like 24, i thought it was very entertaining and never once thought there was a dull moment. There were a few problems that i had with it. Some of the acting was sub-par. To me is was a modern day Texas Walker Ranger where is was enjoyable but you notice these things. Another problem i felt was the fact that i don't know how many times a saw a sound guy or a camera man in the shot. Maybe they spend too much money on stunts and other things for editing. I am trying to find a clip of what i am talking about on youtube. Other than that though the plot and action kept me tuned and looking forward to season 2. I give it 3 and a half Fernalds out of 5

Bad Hosts: Invitation Without Participation

So the weekend is coming up, and your co-worker (who you aren't particularly fond of) asks you to come over on Friday night for a small get together. "I'll consider it," you lie as you return to you cubicle knowing damn well that you loathe the idea of attending a party of which you know nobody except the host, and to make things worse, he lives in Sellwood. It's not that you don't appreciate Sellwood, it's just that parking is difficult and it's full of unmarked intersections.

You quickly try to re-busy yourself, but the prospect of this party dangerously looms merely because you realized you haven't gone out since Labor Day and your blog isn't getting any hits anyway.

Friday night comes around and you find yourself at the party, but something unexpected has occurred. Contrary to what you envisioned, you are not the honored guest, the host can't be found , and you're alone. You desperately try to appear in control of the situation, but your social ineptitude best resembles that of a 10th grade girl.

This is the worst thing that a host can possibly do, right? Wrong. There's worse. The person of whom invited you could decide to not show up entirely leaving you totally in the dark.

Patrick, this is you right now. You invited me to this blog, I was hesitant, and now I am the only one contributing. This is my fourth post to your one. Despite the fact that no one has read this blog (besides Laura on Saturday), it is quite embarrassing. No internet, no cable whatever, sack up and make a post or I'm done.

Made in China

Yao Ming's NBA career may be over. At least that is what many reporters are supposing after the Chinese 7-footer's CT scan has shown that the hairline fracture in his foot has not healed quite as expected. As a victim of a navicular fracture as well, I am sympathetic but not surprised.

The bone he has broken is notorious for its difficulty to heal. To think that his joints could sustain a 7 foot frame for 82-game seasons is bit quixotic. David Stern, shorten the NBA schedule already! If Yao in fact is done playing basketball professionally, it will be detrimental to the game.

Tough break for the Rockets, who were in championship contention this year as much as any other team as they definitely gave the Lakers their toughest challenge. Yao brings a lot to this league. Alas, the Houston Rockets have realized something the average American consumer inherently knows: never rely on a product Made in China.

Dream of the Fortnight

Dream of the Fortnight is a segment in which Bullock and I will submit our most vivid or most noteworthy dreams each fortnight (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fortnight).

In this inaugural submission of Dream of the Fortnight, I am bringing to the surface a dream that occured to me 3 and a half days ago in which my colleague Patrick booked an amphitheatre in Damascus, Oregon. I suggest you go to Damascus. This has been one of many noteworthy dreams I have been having lately.

Anyway, he performed this song, I'm serious.

Propaganda Posters

I've been getting really into propaganda lately; I scoured
the web for some examples of what I'm talking about.

This one above was released in during the early 70's during the first major global oil crisis.



This conveys a relatively strong anti-American message from WWII by some Germans.

I don't really know what to think of this one.

Tiny cut off guy

These are the guys you see working out in the gym or on the basketball court. They wear the tiniest cut off they can because they can't take their shirt off. The cut off is barely there mostly strings holding it up. There are rules in the gym to limit the sweat on the equipment but these guys just don't care. These are the same guys out on the basketball court when your playing shirts and skins. Anything they can do to keep the skin to cloth ratio low. They are closely related to the guys who always take their shirt off.

The People you meet in College or in College Classes

Jimmy and I didn't know what our first post should be. An idea came up that we have always talked about and that is the people you meet at college or in college classes.