Yuniesky Betancourt Round-Up (Vol. 1)

As Week 8 comes to a close, it appears that this year's inaugural edition of Yuniesky Betancourt Round-Up is a bit overdue. 2010 seems to already be a bit more competitive than 2009, and I'm not just saying this because my team has already eclipsed its win total from last year. Think what you will.

As there was no Introductory briefing, I will also take this opportunity to introduce each team and its manager.

East Division

Sir Tinley the Great (Danny) 4-3
Khaki Robinson (Jimmy- Commissioner) 4-3
Nafletes (Dusty) 4-3
Time to Mo Vaughn (Patrick) 3-4
Kinsler's List (I actually have no idea who this is, but we have collaborated on some good trades) 3-4
Rodriguez Roiders (Arny) 1-6

West Division

Gutless Arny (Cach) 5-2
Pumping Gas for Cach (Burke) 5-2
Waiting for Fairley (O'Brien) 5-2
We Were Promised Jet Packs (Daschel) 5-2
Ichiroooo (Lowry) 2-5
Sponsors Needed (Wirth) 1-6

Early Season Awards:

Lamar Odom Award for Wasted Talent: Sponsors Needed.
In almost every aspect, Sponsors Needed has performed like a quality franchise. Except in the standings, however, which coincidentally are the most important. Sponsors is in the points hunt but has only managed to win a one matchup and currently sits in dead last of the West Division. Hats off to you for hanging in there, sometimes this sort of stuff just happens.

Bob Whitsitt Award for Worst Trade of the Year: Khaki Robinson.
Alex Gonzalez was off to a great start, so what did Khaki do? Traded for (what was conceived to be a great pickup at the time) Carlos Pena. Unfortunately, Carlos Pena only collected a total of 2 hits (2 HITS!!!) within the first four weeks of his tenure for Khaki Robinson and, to make matters worse, was outplayed by Lance Berkman, the first baseman Pena was originally intended to replace.

Neil Collins Award for Least Efficient Use of Bench Space: Gutless Arny.
Carlos Delgado's career has been deemed unsalvageable by all 30 MLB teams after an injury ridden 2009 campaign. Consequently he has yet to prove that he is worthy of a big league roster spot in 2010. Apparently he proved himself worthy for Gutless Arny however. Gutless held on to the aging slugger until week 6 despite Delgado's not having played a single game. Week 6 people. To give Gutless the benefit of the doubt, maybe he assumed that having an open calendar was a point category in this league? Gutless Arny finally parted ways with the aging slugger, but you still have to wonder why it took so long. Who's next Gutless, Babe Ruth?

I will end this column with the admission of two truths, both of which I am completely aware of: Not everyone in this league even remembers their password, and of those who do, few, if any, will read this round-up. To that I will say that this column is particularly for my own enjoyment. Further contributions from others are more than welcome.

Negele "The Breadmaker" Knight

*Taken straight off the back of his Topps basketball card

Height: 6'1"
Weight: 182 lbs.
Born: 3/7/67
College: Dayton

The Buzz
Per minute, Knight ranked in the top 10% of the Nba in AST...Started 6 games in his first 2 seasons, then 35 when Kevin Johnson was injured, had a 19-AST game 4-5-91.

Personal:
-Earned a degree in health education from Dayton
-Enjoys listening jazz and watching movies

Things that everyone buys but nobody uses segment

The Bread Maker
Back in the mid-nineties you couldn't receive a gift without getting at least one bread maker. In fact so many people got bread makers as gifts that it was the number one returned item in '94. People went crazy for bread makers back then. I guess the idea of making your own bread was a thought that the American people loved. Once they got it though they has a rude awakening, long baking times and often, not that great of bread. Americans have no patience so waiting for bread for 5 hours isn't their kind of idea for fun. Eventually everyone decided to just ditch the bread makers and store them in their attics or basements.

*The best part of that photo is the fact that none of that bread was made with that bread maker.
*The "Breadmaker" was also the nickname of an obscure 90's NBA player by the name of Negele Knight (no picture needed) or maybe....

The 1987 Crystal Light National Aerobic Championship

The 1987 Dance Aerobics Championship - Watch more Funny Videos

Great Way to stay in shape.....if you have a spare audience.
Things I got from watching this video
-Aerobics definitely peaked in the 80's
-They had aerobic "clubs"?
-Is that the guy from Growing Pains?

Putting Flies to Good use

A company in Germany decided what way to better advertise then to advertise on flies. They attached lightweight paper advertising and let the flies loose.


This has got to be one of the best ideas ever. Flies in themselves are nothing and annoying but add advertising to them and they because the greatest billboard ever.

This is why I love the 70's

Its long been a dream of mine to be on Soul Train. There is nothing like a good dance line to set a party over the top. So many good dancers and overall just a bunch of cool people. Just once in my life I want to go to a party that has one.

The People In College

The Girl Who Somehow Talks About Her boyfriend When She Answers a Question in Class.
I have one in every class that I have taken. Some how, some way she incorporates her boyfriend in her answer. It's ether her and her boyfriend do this, or her boyfriend does that. I really can't stand it, there is no reason we need to know you have a boyfriend. I mean congrats you found someone to procreate with. It has never ceased to amaze me that she could somehow bring in her boyfriend in any conversation. If she had a super power it would be the ability to bring her boyfriend up in any conversation even if it was about the current political climate in Morocco.

*That picture isn't the best representation, after about 15 minutes i gave up and settled on that picture.