NBA Fantasy Basketball - Lockout addition

Right now I would be knee deep into my first week of fantasy basketball. Instead of wondering if any of my late round sleeper picks would make I have to hear how millionaires and billionaires are squabbling over 97 millions dollars split between all the players and owners. In these times of economic certainty you wonder if anyone cares about the fans any more.

One thing I don't get is the player representation why not leave it up to professionals to handle the deals? Derek Fisher doesn't have a law degree and even if he did he doesn't practice law or union contracts. Why not leave it up to Billy Hunter to do the real work. At least he has a law degree. I hope the NBA loses fans over this, both sides look like jackasses. I might have to switch my favorite sport to watch to mls.

Jose Lima Memorial Week 22 Power Rankings

With 22 weeks gone in the season, I couldn't think of a better time to unveil the inaugural power rankings. This has been a season with relatively even talent distribution, and by my estimation, six teams with enough firepower to take home the grand prize. Lets jump into the rankings:

1) NEFERTITI: Indians acquire Brandon Phillips, Cliff Lee, Grady Sizemore from the Expos in exchange for Bartolo Colon. This is the type of lopsided trade that pops into mind when you think of the two heists Nefertiti has pulled off. They put the slow start behind them and haven’t looked back, going 7-3 since the deals revamped the roster.

2) CACH: Sporting a murderers row of bats, can CACH win a championship with a pitching staff as mediocre as the Chicago White Sox?

3) THE SWEATYKNUCKLESBALLS: Everyone knows the age old adage: Defense and pitching win championships. Defense is of no use to us, but a good pitching staff is arguably the difference between contender and pretender. Even with a mediocre, revolving door of castoffs (Pujols excluded), the Knuckleballs continue to edge the opposition behind the strength of the Braves pitching.

4) CARL EVERETT: Matt Kemp and Curtis Granderson. The two highest individual point totals. Do we need elaboration?

5) COMMIE CAUSERS: With half of the Commies consisting of Milwaukie Brewers, this team ebbs and flows match that of the MLB Club. The Brewers are hot right now, and not surprisingly, so are the Commies.

6) FUZZ NUTS: Hambone, Jose Bautista, and Ellsbury lead this snakebitten group. Having the 4^th highest amount of team points, FuzzNuts also has the 4^th worst record in the league. Still only 13 points back in the wild card, the Nuts won’t quit till the fat lady sings.

7) WIZARDS OF AHHS: Inconsistency and injuries have derailed what was once a promising campaign. Basically out of the race for a division championship, the Ahhhs have some serious work to do if they wish to make up a 98 point deficit to Nefertiti in the wild card.

8) SF GIANTS: KINGS OF MLB: A solid cast of guys. Problem is half of them occupy the dugout during the fantasy week. As commissioner, I am very disappointed in you Arny.

9) SEATTLE BADGERS: There are miracles, and then there is the Seattle Badgers sitting two games out of first. How did we get to this point?? Combine the worst team name by a mile with a pathetic crew (Votto excluded), and it adds up to the commish having a personal vendetta. Just think David Stern and Seattle. Your days are numbered Badgers…

10) SMOAK ON THIS: When healthy, Smoaky can do some damage. Besides a few weeks of the season, that never happened.

11) SHMEDVIG: Although trying to be the worst team by trading away any professional talent for cents on the dollar….they’re not dead last.

12) SET BONDS FREE: In week 12, a ruthless pillow fight was had for the right to dwell in the depths of Jose Lima’s grave. Shmedvig narrowly beat Bonds 204-203. Although the BCS wouldn’t agree, head to head matchups matter. One lopsided trade and a continued negligence of Andre Either has landed Bonds B. Free in this coveted spot. Congrats!

Jose Lima Memorial

Week 20 Updates and Awards

A very smooth transition from Jimmy Hennessy to Chris Daschel as League Commissioner has lead to one of the most interesting fantasy baseball leagues in recent memory. Where a team SHMEDVIG has given up on the season and seemingly given up all of his quality players for literally nothing, not even future considerations. The beneficiaries of this collapse of management have been Nefertiti, Wizards of Ahhs, and the Commie Causers . Although all three are are out of first place.

Standings (As of 8/14/2011)

East
Carl Everett 13-5
CACH 12-6
Wizards of Ahhhs 10-8
Seattle Badgers 10-8
Nefertiti 9-9
Smoak on This 5-13

West
The Sweatyknuckleballs 12-6
SF Giants: Kings of MLB 9-9
FuzzNuts 8-10
Commie Causers 8-10
Set Bonds Free 7-11
SHMEDVIG 5-13


Early Season Awards

The Brendan Fraser Award for Giving Up on a Good Team: SHMEDVIG
Traded all his good players for nothing not even for future draft picks.


Doc Rivers Award for Falling Into the Right situation: TheSweatyKuckleBalls
Who knew the pitching staff of the Atlanta Braves and an outfield of Kansas City Royals would lead him to a first place position in the Western Division standings.

Urban Shocker Award for Best Fantasy Name: Cach
So simple yet so effective, like condoms.